Ramblings of the Nimbus

Oh please!

2005-08-20T16:22:00.000Z

I've been trying to talk my mum into buying Mogul a friend for the winter. He doesn't need to stay in a stable, but leaving him in a field alone at night would be cruel. Yesterday at the Dunster show, she saw Jill (Mogul's breeder) and Hilary (Mogul fanclub member #001), and asked them about Exmoor fillies. Apparently they had 2 born this year, and when they come off the moor in October we're going to go and see them, with a view to buying one. ^_^

Now I just have to keep my mum interested. I want a filly so much, especially one that would be possibly closely related to Mogul, geldings are super good for riding, but for showing Mogul's coat is awful, and fillies and mares do better in classes, you can also breed from them(omg, I want my own foal!), and they have a lifelong chance at the Cuddy, whereas next year would be Mogul's last chance.

Old.

2005-07-31T17:08:00.000Z

I'm 17 on Wednesday. :o

I keep checking for wrinkles.

Am trying to cook birthday cake with fake milk, fake flour and fake chocolate.

Commandment number 11.

2005-07-23T18:19:00.000Z

Thou shall not try to top thyself with 20 paracetamol.

Uncomfortably numb.

2005-07-08T00:11:00.000Z

I don't want to comment in detail about the atrocities all over the TV. I'm still in shock. At first it was just deeply upsetting, but now as the death toll rises, I feel angry.

But we can get through this. Our grandparents went through the Blitz, our parents went through the IRA terrorism, and this is our challenge. Together, kids, we are strong. "Sometimes it falls upon a generation to be great", we can be that generation.

More weather rantage.

2005-07-06T19:35:00.000Z

It's like it's March here. So cold and rainy and windy. Roll on global warming!

If I'm suddenly gone some time in the next few weeks, I'll probably have gone to France. I'm sure you'll be glad to see the back of me for a while. I'll probably be back eventually. I just need some time away.

I want to put clingy ex-boyfriends in Room 101.

I'm on antibiotics again for a throat infection (I swear, it feels like I live off them, they keep me alive e_e). S'all alright. I feel rather chipper considering. I woke up at about 1AM Monday morning in so much pain. I had to just lie there for 6 hours in the fetal position whimpering to myself. In retrospect, it's quite funny.

Basil has developed a taste for "bush meat". What the cats bring in and leave lying around. Parts of assorted small animals.

For now, toodles.

And perhaps - Bon voyage, since I doubt I'll get chance to log in and tell people when I'm going.

London 2012!

2005-07-06T17:49:00.000Z

Suck on that Chirac, you racist son of a frog.

Where...

2005-07-06T10:31:00.000Z

... did the summer go to?

Make poverty history.

2005-07-02T17:52:00.000Z

Make Sir Bob happy.

What idiot...

2005-07-01T20:45:00.000Z

...decided to invite Mariah Carey to do Live 8?! She's such a loser. She's so far up her own arse she can see what she had for breakfast, and she sings nothing but crappy pop songs that all sound the same.

Last night I had an allergic reaction to margarine. I'm not supposed to eat it but the thought of baked potato without it was not nice. It wasn't particularly severe though. :)

Tonight Team Saskia gets split up on Big Brother. This makes me so so happy. If Maxwell wins I will kick a window in or something. I hope Makosi or Kemal win, I like Derek most, but he's already rich enough. New housemate Eugene is hilarious though, because he's such a loser. XD

Randy Nealikins.

2005-06-30T18:54:00.000Z

Nealikins is weirding me out. He needs to get laid.

Neal says:
lo
Me says:
o_o
Me says:
oh, forgot you were there
Neal says:
lol
Neal says:
:'(
Me says:
-pats-
Neal says:
teh kayleigh doesnt love me anymore
Me says:
XD
Neal says:
and to think
Neal says:
i rated you above russian porn in the nealikins smexchyness what is hot (Registered tradmark) scale
Me says:
XD
Me says:
-claps-
Neal says:
:P
Neal sends:
(Russian Porn)

Neal says:
in my honest great opinion
Neal says:
you > that
Neal (laptop) -Come again? says:

You have failed to receive file "erolatex003_01.jpg" from Neal (laptop) -Come again?.

Me says:
oh my
Neal says:
so feel cherished and smexchy
Me says:
lmao
Me says:
o_x
Neal says:
-is in randy mood today btw-
Neal says:
so excuse me
Me says:
lmao
Neal says:
-jumps on top of-
Me says:
-hides-
Neal says:
rejected again
Me says:
-pats-
Me says:
(from a distance)
Neal says:
lol
Neal says:
-uses hypnotic pull technique-
Me says:
-is not hypnotisable-
Neal says:
darn
Neal says:
-ties up to bed with titanium wires-
Me says:
eek
Neal says:
ahh come on
Neal says:
at least give t3h nealikins something
Neal says:
that requied effort
Me says:
lol
Me says:
-gives tin of baked beans-
Neal says:
-humps-
Me says:
xD
Neal says:
come on
Neal says:
gimme a go
Neal says:
if im shit in bed
Neal says:
you can eat me
Me says:
xD
Me says:
no thanks
Neal says:
you was gonna bite my private parts off yesterday
Me says:
only if you insulted my nipples
Neal says:
ahh k
Me says:
it was a theoretical type of thing
Neal says:
k
Neal says:
well you have very nice nipples
Me says:
o_x
Me says:
stop trying to sweet talk me into bed
Me says:
i know your game mister
Neal says:
darn
Neal says:
still i bet your nipples are very nice
Neal says:
so dont be paranoid
Neal says:
lol
Me says:
x_x
Neal says:
you dont need sweet talking
Neal says:
you need 2 vodka and cokes
Neal says:
;)

Well children, romance is dead.

-Moron-

2005-06-28T18:06:00.000Z

I just got back home. I was riding Nimbus. I rode my bike back from the yard, and managed to drive it into a speeding car. It was so not my fault, I did look, it came round the corner fast, like. ><

I'm such an idiot. It freaked me out quite a lot though. My bike is fine, despite being hit at speed and dragged along a road. All I have for my trouble is a mahoosive bruise on the side of my leg.XD

Just a note.

2005-06-26T19:06:00.000Z

I'm loving the Glastonbury coverage. It's great seeing people's tents being swept away by floods to Kaiser Chiefs background music.

I'm a bit pissed that I didn't get to see any Ash(omg they remind me of my early teens and make me nostalgic, I'm so old! :o) coverage, but New Order, Kaiser Chiefs, Athlete, Razorlight etc were all electric. Babyshambles were average, but at least Pete Doherty didn't look completely wasted. Coldplay were alright, but I don't like them. They're overrated by far. The White Stripes should mime. They're awful live. Earshattering. Fatboy Slim was muchos cool, and I don't even like dance music, though, I am biased because the way he remixed Brimful of Asha was godly.

Thinness.

2005-06-22T18:12:00.000Z

So I've decided to get my fat arse into line a bit. It's not that I'm fat, it's more that I'm just a lump of wasted muscle. I started running everywhere and doing other crazy stuff. I want to take Nimbus around Knowle's x-country course sometime soon, and I know that if I'm not strong, he'll try to get mouthy and have me off on the tight bends. I have the smallest bit of muscleage taking shape in my arms already. ^_^

I don't want to go all crazy gym dyke though. I'd rather not look like Angelina Jolie's uglier, fatter, shorter stunt double if I can help it.

Souvenirs.

2005-06-21T19:08:00.000Z

It's always nice when someone goes to a party and brings you back a present isn't it?

No. Not when the person doing the giving is your mother, and the party is an Anne Summers party.

She brought me back a flipping "willy chastity belt". I'd take photos, but my mum hid the camera somewhere stupid and she's forgotten where.

I refuse to open it, it's so filthy, and I thought I was quite kinky. :s

In the catalogue there is a fine array of sex toys and weird underwear. Why on earth would someone wear a bra that only covers about 1/8th of your boobs?!

And why would someone want a "Mustafa Shag". "Your own inflatable escort... Mustafa comes with his own penis. Blow him hard to inflate him and watch his 7 incher come to life".
I'm very worried about the fact that Mustafa bears more than a passing resemblance to my father. His face, I wouldn't know about the rest.

There are also rather amusing "Choc Cocks", "Canned Sperm", and a spanking kit.

Too hot to blog.

2005-06-20T21:21:00.000Z

Not me, dumbarse, the weather! ;)

I'm moving to Lapland, then I can shack up with Santa and Mrs Christmas. Not so sure about the weird Coca Cola trucks going through all the time and the cuddly looking polar bears though. But I could totally lord it there. People wouldn't be able to vote me out of power. I'd get Mrs Claus to vote for me because she's a woman, and us what have boobies and bear children have to stick together, and Santa would be the only counter vote. Polar bears and cans of coke aren't registered y'see?

Oh no. I've gone mad.

EDIT - Do elves count as voting citizens? Aren't they just midgets in funny suits? Do the reindeer get a say? I need some good propaganda, carrot allowances, company outings to Bognor, higher reindeer/sleigh ratios...

Bat attack!

2005-06-19T11:23:00.000Z

I was sitting in my living room last night, when a bat came in through the window. This is very worrying. It was very scary. I am contemplating shutting my bedroom window at night. Serial killers, bears and escaped clowns do not worry me, bats do.

Tack inventory.

2005-06-14T18:34:00.000Z

Today I cleaned most of my tack. I've realised I have too much junk, alot of it I never use. Among it is:

Bridles (x3):
Nimbus' new bridle (dark brown, cavesson noseband, raised detail, pony size).
Mogul's bridle (Nim's old bridle, pony size, fairly old, faded brown hunter browband and cheekpieces, black raised detail noseband(pony/cob size), very mismatched).
Mogul's old bridle/spares (brown, very worn, black leather green/navy sharktooth velvet riding horse browband, no noseband).
Spare browband. Very worn.
Reins, 2 pairs, pony size. 1 black, the ones I use now (don't go with bridle but you wouldn't get close enough to notice), 1 brown, very worn, used with Mo's bridle.

Bits (x4):
5" eggbutt snaffle.
4.5" eggbutt snaffle.
5" loose ring cherry roller snaffle.
5" cambridge port kimblewick with curb.

Saddle.

Stirrup irons (2 pairs):
1 pair bog standard new stirrup irons, white insteps.
1 pair peacock safety stirrups, came with saddle, not very safe as safety device broke. Can replace the broken elastic bits if needed.

Stirrup leathers.

1 x hunter breastplate (pony - cob size, multiple extra holes punched in, as closer to cob size and pony is closer to pony size, dark brown).

1 x running martingale attachment (no longer used, dark brown, pony - cob size, was used as standing martingale).

4 travelling boots (Nimbus refuses to wear, bright red, velcro, very unsafe looking, pony size).

Set of 4 exercise bandages (never worn, sage green, v nice).

2 x numnahs (pony size, 1 black, old, sheepskin, attracts ginger pony hairs, 1 sage green, newish, cotton, attracts dirt).

Rugs, multiple.

1 x 5` cotton cooler rug, blue with pink (!) binding. Bought for Mogul, worn by Nimbus.
1 x 5`3 mediumweight turnout rug, gd condition, blue with light blue binding, weatherbeeta (Nimbus).
1 x 5`3 lw - mw stable rug, navy blue tartan, cotton lining.
2 x 5`6 Rambo mw - hw turnouts. Neither fit. 1 pink (!), came with NP, medium - bad condition, 1 black/silver, fell off back of some lorry and was given to us new, good condition, but dirty.
1 x 5`7 Rambo hw stable rug. Bottle green. Slips and rubs. Came with NP and rubbed all fur off front of chest winter before last.
1 x 6` turnout rug. Navy blue.
1 x 6` pony fleece. Navy w/ red binding. Has holes on one side as Mogul pulled off Mac and trampled, chewed, similar.

Headcollars (multiple):

1 x pink (!), pony size, came with NP, old.
1 x green, pony size, Cottage Craft, NP's new headcollar. Looks really old as rolls in mud often.
1 x petrol blue, pony size, Cottage Craft, Mo's, same condition as above, also has letters removed as Mogul rubbed them off on fence.
1 x sage green, pony/cob size, too bendy. No longer used as Nimbus could get out of it blindfolded. Got out of several times while we watched. Rather skillful.
1 x burgundy, cob size, Shires. Faded to pink. Mac's. Can get off one ear.

Leadropes, many.

I'm sure there are many other things I have amassed that I've forgotten. I wonder if there's a pony equivalent of Oxfam.

EDIT (1 hour later) - Remembered some more stuff.

1 x Girth. Cottage Craft. Grey. Bleeds colour. 40 something", a bit big on Nimbus when is lean.

1 x Fly Fringe, purple (!). Pony/cob size. Belonged to Annie and Sesame, but Sesame's head was too big so never got worn. Now belongs to Nimbus and clashes with his orangeness horribly.

1 x saddle cover, nylon, can be used for riding on, though can imagine sliding off sideways. 17" (pony/cob size). Used to be used for keeping chicken poo off saddle, now is used to stop whoever keeps vandalising my stuff from making any more cuts into my saddle. If I find out who it is, I'm gonna have such a hissy fit.

Stupid under 16 rules.

2005-06-13T10:22:00.000Z

Jumping classes for the Nimbus and I are drying up now I'm 16. They seem to think that people riding 14.2hh and under (he's just over 14.2hh in new shoes, but they never bother measuring, and half the time he's closer to 14.1 1/2, the best possible height for 14.2hh and under jumping) should be 16 and under. It isn't a question of weight, surely, since I'm much smaller than some of the kids I see on ponies.

It seems once we reach 16 we're supposed to buy a 17hh hunter and never look back. :s

Pity I'd look ridiculous on anything so big.

PS. Am very sad as enjoying watching BB. Sam masurbating in her cardboard box with Science looking was TV Gold, just because she'll never live it down, randy cow.

STOP! Nimbus time!

2005-06-12T19:31:00.000Z

Love me, love my fat pony...

Great likeness, no?

Add to previous...

2005-06-12T17:37:00.000Z

... Get a boob job.
... Get decent hair.
... Get legs stretched so am 5`4.
... Get glow in the dark teeth.

If I won 15 million quid I'd...

2005-06-11T17:55:00.000Z

... Give some to Bob Geldof so he can shut up about Live 8.
... Pay Toby to leave me alone.
... Buy a few million horses, a herd of my own Exmoor Ponies, some Irish Sport Horses and some Purebred Arabs.
... Buy as much land as people would sell me.
... Build myself a huge eventing yard.
... Buy myself the comfiest saddles money can buy.
... Buy myself a title, my own star.
... Buy a really posh car.
... Pay someone handsome to marry me and build a massive house and get loads of people to live there and love me.
... SKI(spend kids' inheritance) in style.
... Buy old Mr Masters some roomier shirts. I don't think kids should have to witness that.
... Buy Mogul a double bridle so he looks posher at shows.
... Hire my own troop of manservants.
... Buy secondary homes in Moscow, New York, Paris and Andalucia.
... Export lots of sexy Andalucian horses and make easy money selling them as dressage prospects.
... Breed my own warmblood, leave him as a stallion and then compete him to a really high level, make good money from his stud fees.
... Buy my way into the Olympic Eventing team.
... Go on a holiday to the Moon.

The art of riding horses.

2005-06-10T15:16:00.000Z

Yesterday I got bullied into riding Nimbus by my mum. I decided to take a huge step in his training by removing his standing martingale for the first time in nearly a year. When we bought it, it was merely a safety measure, to try to reduce the amount of bit evasion he could get, and therefore make him a bit more stoppable. Now it is uneeded, because of a combination of my brilliant cherry roller snaffle, and my training.

Lemme try to explain this for you non-horsey people. Nealikins doesn't understand what an accomplishment this is, so I guess no one will unless I give you some more information.

The classical way of riding (this means "English" riding, which is a crap term, because no one over here calls it that, as opposed to Western riding, which I haven't a clue about, and don't particularly want to if it involves sitting on an ugly quarter horse) , aims for a light seat, with the horse between hand and leg. This means the horse must drop his head so that the poll (top of neck just behind head) is the highest point of the horse, his neck is arched, and the head is on the vertical. On the vertical means that if you drop a vertical line at 90º from the ground, the front of the nose will lie on that line. The horse must also round his back so it supports the rider better, and makes his back stronger. Most importantly, he must bring his hocks (back legs, equivalent to a human knee) underneath him, and therefore be "off the forehand". If a horse is on the forehand, which is bad, he isn't working from his hocks.

When I got Nimbus, he had obviously been ridden very badly. He was obviously very unhappy with the bit in his mouth, which had led to evasion, which comes in the form of either putting the head up, or dropping the nose behind the vertical and ploughing into the horse's chest. He was doing the former. This had led to him riding with a hollow back, and getting uneven musclage on his neck. The ideal neck has plenty of topline and muscle at the top, and not much on the bottom. Nimbus had no topline and a huge bulge of muscle under his neck. The ideal starting point would have been to ride him with a very very loose rein, so he wouldn't be able to lean on anything, and the muscle would have started to breakdown. Before that happens, the horse is usually incapable of bringing his head into the perfect position. However, Nimbus was too frisky to ride on a loose rein. Riding on a loose rein would have got me killed.

So, I read a few articles on bitting, thought about different stuff for well over 6 months, and finally bought him a cherry roller snaffle. This bit features loose rings outside the mouth, and rollers on the inside, as well as a single joint to give him lots of tongue room. Because everything was loose, he couldn't take it in his teeth and run with it. His bits that he came with were exactly the wrong sort. One was a cambridge port kimblewick, which was solid all the way through, hugely thick and heavy and unfeeling, as unmoving as a bit could possibly be, and had a curb chain. The big port sticking into the top of his mouth was probably the first thing that made him stick his head up. The other bit was an eggbutt snaffle, which is jointed in the middle, but fixed on the outside, so he could run through it as he pleased. He took absolutely no notice of either of his old bits.

As soon as I put the cherry roller in his mouth and got on, it was like a different pony. Before if I'd tried to push him into the rein, he'd have jogged, put his head in the air and protested. If I asked him to take a contact with the roller, he'd do it. If I'd asked him before to canter, I'd have been having to hold his mouth right from the word go, which feels awful and inhumane, but otherwise he'd have gone faster and faster until we were in France. Stopping him was easier said than done. Usually done by turning him into walls, though sometimes he'd jump them. As soon as I asked for canter in the new bit, he went nicely, but there was no grabbing of the bit. I cantered him with a completely loose rein, and when I asked him to stop, he did it, right away.

Since that first ride in the new bit, I've been retraining him, and never had a pulling session. It's like a different pony. His neck is changing much for the better, he's very nearly on the vertical (this will take time as his muscles change), he's relaxed under me, and I can stop him from a full out gallop just by hardening my seat, pushing him forward and squeezing the reins gently. Compare that to before, which would have meant a mad pulling session and me falling in front of the movement. And now there is no martingale, and no difference, he still behaves perfectly (Apart from a bit of jogging and prancing if he's het up or something strange is going on, but I won't deny him a bit of a stress release) and is working increasingly from behind.

I'm so proud of me and Nimbus. I no longer feel like a crap rider, and my pony is a pleasure to ride. :D

(And if anyone bothered to read the whole of that, you probably now know twice as much about horses as you did before)

(PS, foal has been named "Pinchella" (Inchella x Pioneer Princess). Jess and I refuse to call him "Pin", so we call him Bob. Him and his mum have gone back to be reinpregnated, poor buggers.)

Basil - The dog who just keeps on giving.

2005-06-09T21:19:00.000Z

I just had the shock of my life. Basil just jumped onto my bed and presented me with a little gift. A slightly decomposed headless mouse corpse. When my mum took it off him it ripped apart with a "CRUNCH" that will probably haunt me until the day I die.

-Shudders-

Is a bit of peace and quiet too much to ask for?

2005-06-08T19:37:00.000Z

All I want is to have a nice long kip. But noooo. Every half hour or so my mum comes in and wakes me up and demands that I get her on the internet/stop her computer from crashing/find her a spare extension lead/walk the dog etc. Then when she'd finally gone out, Michael comes round. He sits on me, tells me he can see my tits, and hangs around making himself unwanted for 3 hours.
People are such social delinquents. Or maybe I'm just a mean, irritable person.

Irish people.

2005-06-08T10:20:00.000Z

My mum has this friend called Paddy. He's Irish. He used to be a doctor, but for some mad reason he gave it up and bought a restaurant. My mum does his accounts, so he comes over once a week or so.
So he was over here last night, and he decides to do some Super Paddy thing, and decides I have meningitis or something and that he will do the good thing, and takes me down to A&E. I'm, protesting furiously at this point. I remember saying, "Fuck off Paddy you stupid Irish git," and other such charming things. Why is it that people seem to think that I belong in a hospital? Why? Why?
So after 6 hours or so, they tell Paddy that I'm not going to die, and haven't got meningitis (why did it take so long? I could've come to that conclusion straight away?!), but they'd like to keep me in at least overnight. Fuck off. So I'm like, "Paddy, if you don't take me home right now, I will go and have a 2 hour bus ride, because I'm not sticking around here," so he took me home. Reluctantly. With much complaining. And that kids, is the story of my 10pm - 4am stupid trip with Paddy.
On the plus side they gave me antibiotics and put me on an IV for a while, so it's not so bad. But don't tell Paddy that. ¬_¬

Pizza Day.

2005-06-07T19:05:00.000Z

So this morning Amy phones me to make me not duck out of going. Damnit. Foiled again. Amy is only 5`1, but she's like a Jack Russel Terrier - small and fierce, and something you wouldn't trust around small children. So I went to Taunton. It wasn't so bad as it could have been. Scott got jilted by his Wapanese girlfriend for some nerd in glasses who wanted to show her his manga collection or something. I don't like his Wapanese girlfriend. She talks Japanglish. Everything is "bishi" or "kawaii", because those are the only Japanese words she knows. So Scott came, and brought his friend Tom, who is very sexy, but sadly camp as a row of tents at Butlins. So we had this huge bitch session about how Scott's girlfriend is stupid, and how men (present company excepted) are stupid in general.
We went to Pizza Hut. They had a 4 for all, I spent 2 hours pushing salad as limp as an old man's penis around my plate with a fork and wanting to go home, yet wimping out of doing so because I didn't want to seem rude.
Then we got very very rained on. Then I came home. Then I got bribed into walking the dog. Then I crashed out in a wet pile on the sofa, with shoes and jacket and wet clothes still on, and slept for 4 hours.
I don't feel good. At all. I'm beyond intelligent conversation. My fever is nearly 102. I believe that's fahrenheit. I'm never sure. I need to learn these unit things.

Weather.

2005-06-06T18:45:00.000Z

People say that we British talk about the weather too much. This is because we have roughly 3 times as much weather as everyone else. This week is no exception. Every time I look out of the window, it is sunny. I guarantee though, that everytime I go out, it will start to piss it down with rain. I now have 6 pairs of wet jeans, most of them only worn for 5 minutes previous to wettening, on my radiator.

So every time I step outside, I get totally drenched. Me and Nealikins think that Michael Fish has something to do with it. Some hidden agenda against me or summat.

Everyone is ill. Almost anyway. Pogo has mumps, so I went over at the weekend to amuse her, which was fun. Everyone else is just down with something. Tomorrow is supposed to be our monthly pizza day. Except, we used to go to Pizza Hut for it, but we changed it since I can't eat pizza. We are now trying out different places for pizza day. The most important thing it has to have, is the capacity to have 20+ annoying "yoots" in at once, creating general mayhem, without chucking us out.

I say "supposed to be", because everyone is busy/ill and isn't going. The only people left who are still in for it are Amy and Chloe. Yesterday Amy said to me:
"If you get ill and pull out, I will hunt you down and do something really horrible."
So I said of course I'd be coming. Silly me.

Today I don't feel good. I have a headache and a sore throat and a fever. But I will go tomorrow, because to not go would a) get me killed by Amy, and b) be a sign of weakness.

Yay.

2005-06-05T16:19:00.000Z

I have new Prince of Wales spurs for showing, they are the dog's bollocks.

Royal Bath and West of England Show 05.

2005-06-04T15:15:00.000Z

yesterday I went to the Bath and West show. It was native day. It was totally excellent. I watched a tiny Welsh Sec A stallion trying to beat up the Welsh Sec D and New Forest stallions at once in the Cuddy, then it tried to take his handler down too. The Exmoor didn't do very well, the winner was a classy Dartmoor stallion. Apart from that I saw millions of dartmoors and exmoors, a shetland, some donkeys, camels, sheep, llamas, cows, dogs and pigs. I watched a team from the Beaufort Polo Club(the one Princes William and Harry play for) whoop some other team's arse, and that was uber cool for a polo enthusiast like myself.
Then at about 2PM, the heavens split open in the wettest wet thing I've seen for a long time. I've now discovered my waterproof coat isn't completely waterproof, and had to sit around for 5 1/2 hours in jeans so wet you could actually wring water out of them. Even my underwear was wet. Very pleased that I'd had the sense to wear waterproof mascara though. :)
All in all, was pretty awesome, got talked into buying Basil some dog treats by the Pedigree trailer I was sheltering in, and got a new schooling whip (Mogul chewed the end off mine).

Today's shitty drawing (mood) is:

Silly survey thingy.

2005-06-02T10:54:00.000Z

So Emma emailed me this silly chain email thing, and 10 minutes later I had about 30 of them from different people, so rather than email them back and get another 30 from other people, I decided to blog it.

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name: You already know my name right?
Birthday: 03/08/88 (That's British formatting there, 3rd of August -_o )
Birthplace: Warwick Hospital, Warks.
Current Location: Dunster, Somerset.
Eye Color: Blue.
Hair Color: Distressed Mouse.
Height: 5`1. o_o
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Italian/Irish/English/French. Y'know, basic European stuff.
The Shoes You Wore Today: Erm. I haven't worn any today. I'm wearing Animal flipflops though if that counts.
Your Weakness: Potato products.
Your Fears: Everything.
Your Perfect Pizza: That Tesco finest one with the chillis and peppers what looks like it was really made in Italy.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Where do I start?
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "Lol", or maybe "Sorry".
Thoughts First Waking Up: "Go away Basil."
Your Best Physical Feature: Do I have one?
Your Bedtime: When I fall asleep. Though, that would make my bedtime somewhere around 3PM a lot of days, so let's ignore that.
Your Most Missed Memory: Hey what?
Pepsi or Coke: Coke. But they're both pretty dire.
McDonalds or Burger King: Burger King has better fries, but McDonald's burgers pwn.
Single or Group Dates: Single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Erm. Neither.
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither.
Do you Smoke: Only occasionally, and usually only if it's got cannabis in it.
Do you Swear: Fuck no.
Do you Sing: Only when no one is listening, and when I'm not near anything glass to smash.
Do you Shower Daily: Yes.
Have you Been in Love: I'm not sure.
Do you want to go to College: Yes.
Do you want to get Married: Yes. Preferably to a human male if possible.
Do you believe in yourself: What isn't there to believe? This question is silly. Who is really going to put: "No, I do not really exist, I am a figment of everyone's imagination like Easter Bunny, Geoff Hamilton, similar."
Do you get Motion Sickness: Nope.
Do you think you are Attractive: No.
Are you a Health Freak: In phases.
Do you get along with your Parents: Parent singular, and no.
Do you like Thunderstorms: No. They are wet and inconvenient.
Do you play an Instrument: Yes.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: Yes.
In the past month have you Smoked: Yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs: Yes.
In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope. How sad.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: Yes. Let's not repeat that in a hurry.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: I don't think I've ever eaten an Oreo in my life.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: Again, I've never eaten sushi. Fish should be cooked.
In the past month have you been on Stage: Erm, yes.
In the past month have you been Dumped: Nope.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: An onion bhaji from my mum. XD
Ever been Drunk: Yes.
Ever been called a Tease: Yes.
Ever been Beaten up: Yes.
Ever Shoplifted: I don't think so.
How do you want to Die: Suddenly and in style.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Rich.
What country would you most like to Visit: Mongolia.
In a Guy..
Favourite Eye Color: Blue(maybe I have deep Nazi/pro-Aryan tendancies), but really, I'm not fussed.
Favourite Hair Color: Anything but ginger.
Short or Long Hair: Long if it's wellgroomed. Otherwise, short.
Bearded: Maybe. But no bits of food stuck in it m'kay?
Height: Small is more convenient, but I can get by with tall guys.
Weight: Fatter than me.
Best Clothing Style: Individual.
Number of Drugs I have taken: Individual tablets? Or types? LSD, Cocaine, something akin to Heroin, Cannabis, and a bit of solvent abuse. I was a bad child.
Number of CDs I own: Like hundreds.
Number of Piercings: Just my ears.
Number of Tattoos: None.
Number of things in my Past I Regret: Pretty much everything circa 2002.

Shopping.

2005-06-01T22:10:00.000Z

I cannot shop. I haven't been able to shop in reasonable fashion since I was about 14. Especially on my own. And when I'm with people.
When with people, I get embarrassed at everything, suddenly realise I shouldn't be in charge of what I wear, and leave everything to them, while stuffing myself into the nearest corner to hide myself, because when in a store I suddenly get intensified feelings of self-hate ("Oh fucking hell, why are you so damned weird looking?!!? Why can't you look like that amazing ice maiden type with the tiny waist that actually looks tiny and the legs that go up for miles?!?! Why are you short and chubby and weird looking?!?"). I blame the mirrors. Not only are they everywhere, but they also seem to be different to ordinary mirrors. I either look 100x worse inside shops, or the mirrors are warped, because when I catch sight of myself in one of those mirrors I want to run.

Today I tried to shop. I found myself in Taunton around midday. I'm not sure why. It's like one minute I was sitting around eating spicy cocktail sausages from the packet while watching daytime tv, and the next minute I'm in Taunton and my mum is driving off and why am I alone in this big place?
So I went along the high street, and suddenly realised I should have put public-fit shoes on. I was wearing my paddock boots for some reason. It didn't really matter in retrospect though, since my jeans trail along the floor and cover them, such is the benefit of being tiny and having bad taste in shoes.
Why are there so many teenagers about? I hate teenagers. Well, technically I am one, but why for the love of batshit are there so many?!? They hover like vultures over a corpse, in their Burberry socks and hoodies, "bling", and a baseball cap. What is the point of wearing both a baseball cap and a hoodie?! Once hood is up, baseball cap is almost completely invisible, it doesn't make sense. And no matter how I dress, I don't seem to fit into a high street. Trendyish me wearing clothes my mum bought while I obviously wasn't there doesn't fit in, neither does me wearing completely off the wall "indie kid" look, complete with cord blazer, offensive t-shirt and torn jeans.
So, I went into some shop, which one it was escapes me, and they were playing some 80s disco music that obviously wasn't very good, or I'd know of it, and there were clothes everywhere. And they were totally stupid. Why for the love of crap are hotpants now back "in"?!? Judging by the fact that the population of the world (excepting Africa/Asia) is now hugely obese, hotpants aren't allowed to be in. Anyone under 5`6 (excepting Kylie Minogue), or over a size 10 shouldn't wear them at all. Surely this leaves too small a number of people to buy them for them to be in?!
There were halterneck tops with beach motifs on in neon shades, next to red and green visors and navy blue fishnet stockings. Mini skirts in tartan also featured. And oh fucking hell, pink and orange tweed flares. Why? Why? Who buys this? Who buys it and then actually wears this?
So I have time to kill, and I'm hovering around, face to floor, but eyes scanning horrible display of clothing, wondering what happened to civilisation, mass blindness perhaps? I glide, cat-burglar-in-balaclava style towards the door, trying to ignore the music, which has switched to something by Culture Club, in some vague attempt to be retro, and manage to inconspicuously walk into some shop assistant, who interestingly enough, was actually wearing the tweed flares, and despite being nearly 6` and very thin, looked like a knickerbocker glory from the waist down. Mortified, I scoot out of the shop.
Next attempt at normality (surely if I stay in shops for long enough, I will come to love them and end up trendy and thin, and these "cool" people will like me, please?), was some weird shoe shop, I had another hour to kill before I was to be picked up, so in I went. If I actually try to shop, I become completely weird. I stare and stare at these shoes, though only in passing, must keep moving or will appear weird, until I almost forget who I am and what shoes are for, and instead am suddenly leaning against the wall in a shop, considering why we're all here and not all single celled thingies, and obviously looking very odd, as half of people in shop are looking at me and oh jesus must get out now.
Again, I run out. Spend next 50 minutes leaning against a wall and trying to stop myself eating whole carton of McDonalds fries as am already too fat and short and unacceptable to society, such is the power of shop mirrors, until I get picked up and go back to my sad existence of cocktail sausages and tv.

Foalie!

2005-06-01T20:21:00.000Z

At some point last night, Pie had her foal, because this morning, there he was. ^_^

He's a tiny colt foal, bay with a star. Apparently he should grow big though, the stallion is "18hh and built like a brick wall". There's also an even more adorable bay filly around the corner, who spent ten minutes licking my hand all over. She belongs to the Arab people though, she's much too nice to be Anne's. XD

Anyway. The foal currently has no name, except for "Thank God It's A Boy So Won't Be Forced To Stay Here And Be Bred From For The Rest Of Its Life". I'm betting on yet another unimaginative name, like "Tuesday Night", or similar.

Apache is very morose, since she's been split up from Pie and Pie Junior, and is now all alone. She's hanging over the gate looking sad.

Here are photos, taken conveniently from my window(and made very small so as not to kill Ellie's server and end up with her coming to England to attack me with a cricket bat, hammer, similar).

Apache a few days ago(nosily sticking her head through my living room window), with Pie in background.

Mogul. Stupid automatic flash.

Mogul(with evil Shiloe way off in BG), blurred. Need to work on keeping hands still while taking photos.

Awwww.

Action shot. I actually remembered to change the shutter speed, get me!

While it rains in London...

2005-05-30T14:07:00.000Z

Somerset is sunny, yay!

I knew there must be a reason why I was living here, and this is it. Neh neh to all those Londoners getting rained on. However, pollen count is probably higher here. Damn.

Here is a photo of me sitting on the windowledge yesterday. No make up, hell knows when I'd last brushed my hair. Ack.

I'm in crazy strange situation still with crazy strange ex-boyfriend ("May Stray"). He wants to be "just good friends", which is all well and good, this was decided a year ago, but he now all of a sudden has started mass sexual innuendo/telling me he's not over me/telling me how randy I get him/telling me how much he loves me/asking me about all details of my personal life/phoning/texting/begging me not to go offline.

I'm not sure where things are going there. Guys are weird.

Not so hot.

2005-05-28T15:01:00.000Z

Today it is not so hot. Hopefully I'm going to take Nimbus out for a quick ride tonight. The stupid mail-order company emailed me and said his nose thing isn't in stock, and did I want to wait, so I've emailed them back asking for a rough idea of how long I'd have to wait. If it's going to be 3 months then there's no point, if it'll be a week, then fair enough. They should think about these things when emailing, IMO.

Last night the tin opener broke, so I had to saw open 3 cans of food with a kitchen knife. Said kitchen knife is now well and truly buggered. Oops.

Channel 4 are really scraping the barrel with the contestants of the new Big Brother. The only one who looks vaguely interesting is this political something-or-other, posh, black, Conservative gay man. The rest are complete Chavs with either a huge love for celebrity so big they're willing to over-exaggerate what idiots they are, or they really must have a few screws loose. One of them is some "psychic" lady who went in dressed as a witch with a broomstick, and claims to have been abducted by aliens on multiple occasions. e_e Why I bother watching is beyond me. I'm obviously complete trash.

Today's mood:

Chav.

2005-05-27T17:45:00.000Z

Non-British people don't seem to get what a Chav is. This thing that Nealikins showed me seems to cover all the main points of how awful they are.

Enjoy.

Hot.

2005-05-27T14:43:00.000Z

Today it is very hot. That is all.

Oh, and men suck.

Today's mood:

-Sigh-

2005-05-26T19:53:00.000Z

I need a hug.

What a difference a day makes.

2005-05-26T19:00:00.000Z

Ok, I hate my life. As my MSN name says: "I'm like a human condom. Cheap, quick, easy, does what it says on the packet. But totally disposable." It totally sucks. And I hate men/guys/boys (I'm slightly confused as to what I should be calling them at this age). No one will ever want to marry me. It's this recurring nightmare sequence I have. It has 3 parts.

Dream 1: Die lonely old spinster.
Dream 2: Am forced to marry nasty old man, because no one else wants to marry me. Old man has weird name such as Hectoro, Hans, Philbert or similar. Philbert then dumps me at the altar. Also there a variation that occurs with purple gorilla called Marge.
Dream 3: Wedding goes ahead but suddenly realise am wearing nothing but old, grey, unflattering knickers. Run out of wedding place in embarrassment.

So I totally hate guys now. They're all fuckwitted scumbags with the emotional level of half a slug. I'm going to marry my pony instead. Or Marge. She's kinda hot for a gorilla.

Todays mood:

-Goes to gorge self on dairy free chocolate-

The Eurovision Song Contest.

2005-05-25T11:28:00.000Z

Also known as the Eastern European Popularity Contest. This thing really pisses me off, not just because everyone in it is rubbish, which they are, but because no matter how kick arse we are, some shit act from somewhere east of us will always win.

Basically, for those non-Europeans that may or may not be reading, you can work out who most countries will vote for by the following method.

1) Pick up a history book. See if they've had any major wars with anyone. Especically with us. Everyone holds a grudge against us. Either cross out those countries, or if they're Greece and Turkey, award eachother 12 points. Hell knows how that one works. They used to hate eachother.
2) Pick up an atlas. Every nearby country will probably get big points. For example, Norway will give big points to Denmark and Sweden. Ukraine will give big points to all its cohorts in the Baltics.

This ensures that Britain never wins. In the bottom 4 countries were Britain, France, and Germany, the biggest music markets in Europe. Ireland didn't even get through the semi final.

And we only got 18 points, and the winner got 230something. Ridiculous. Javine wasn't THAT BAD. At least she wasn't as bad as (Nil Points) Gemini. And those Greek girls were diabolical, not to mention the fat lady from Malta who came 2nd, and the Norwegian "glam rockers", who would have made Freddie Mercury turn in his grave.

I only watch for Terry Wogan, honest.

In which the Nimbus returns.

2005-05-24T13:34:00.000Z

Hola. The eagle-eyed among you may have noticed my absence. I got banned from using the computer, since on Friday night I got ridiculously pissed and stoned. Apparently I'm allowed to get pissed and stoned as long as I tell my mum first. Yeah right.

"I'm going out now to get drunk and smoke some weed, don't expect me back until 4PM tomorrow, because I won't even wake up 'til midday, on Dani's carpet, in the arms of some heavily tattooed guy I don't know, who apparently is called George and is a 32 year old "musician" from Taunton, but don't worry, apparently I didn't have sex with him, we just groped a bit in a drunken stupor, I have this on good authority from the people who were just sober enough to know whether they were animal, mineral or vegetable."

In other news I buggered my right wrist up doing something. God knows what. It hurts. I'm ignoring the possiblity that it's computer caused.

I took my camera riding last night but didn't get chance to take photos of Mogeral.

Fleur wants me to stop typing now. I'm worried about the consequences, so I'll stop.

Walking like John Wayne.

2005-05-19T20:24:00.000Z

Yes, I am walking like John Wayne. Apparently today Nimbus decided to jog constantly for 1 1/2 hours, meaning I had to bounce up and down. My arse hurts. I need one of those saddle cushion things.

I'm waiting impatiently for the nose thing I ordered to stop Nimbus from getting sunburnt.

And one more thing, MOGEY IS NEARLY HAIRLESS!!!!

Ahem. Yes. Mogul is shedding his ugly foal coat AT LAST! -Knocks on wood- Let's hope that doesn't jinx it. I've been currying him like mad trying to get it off and brushing show sheen into his fur. It's actually looking quite shiny and sexy. He's a different colour to the pony I bought last year though. He's registered as "Brown", and is actually a lovely bright bay. Will get photos of Mogey's coat for comparison with that of last summer and winter soon. Everyone needs to cross their fingers, legs, hooves and similar for Mogul's hair. Cutcombe show is coming up and I'd love to take "a string" of ponies rather than just Nimbus. -Smirks-

Blacksmiths, Lack of.

2005-05-19T11:36:00.000Z

So when I rode on Monday I kept hearing funny noises coming from Nimbus' off hind foot. The shoe is slightly loose and his feet are long so he's also occasionally forging. Since then me and my mum have been trying to get hold of our farrier, whose name escapes me, since we've used so many different ones. Last night we got hold of the farrier on the phone, who says he can't shoe him until possibly the week after next, if we're lucky he'll get a cancellation and he'll do it next week.

But, he also says if it's only slightly loose I can ride him tonight. ("If it comes off any more, tape it onto his foot with electrical tape!" - High tech advice there.) So I'll probably take him out with Ashton's mum or Lisa and Harvey, depending on whether the former has the balls to ride him.

Nimbus went well on Monday. Him and Harvey went really well together, Harvey's stride is the same as his so he doesn't try to jog, which hurts your arse if nothing else.

Nealikins wants me to teach him to ride, or rather to not fall off. As my first riding instructor said to me on my first lesson - "The idea is to sit on the horse and not to dismount without permission." IE - Don't fall off. Of course, I wasn't learning to ride on Nimbus, thank goodness.

TTFN.

PS - Blogger's timezones are really fucked. Must try to sort out.

Hacks In

2005-05-18T10:28:00.000Z

This is not the Nimbus posting. This is The p00 posting. I rule this blog!

This is the Nimbus. Trust me to have most of my accounts on stuff have the same password. e_e

Pogo and the camera.

2005-05-17T19:09:00.000Z

Next time Pogo comes round I'm hiding my digital camera. She's so snap-happy. She insisted on taking photos of me doing stupid stuff. Here are some of them. Look away if you don't want to be repulsed.

I swear I don't look like that. Does the camera lie? Is it taunting me? Anywho, I'm playing ball here.

Oh god, I have ugly arms. This is me just about to try to grab the camera.

I'm humouring Pogo. You have to in these situations.

That's me watching tv. Fascinating eh?

Ick. I really do have ugly arms. And you can see my bra strap. And I look fat. And I need a boob lift. Oh good grief.

Then followed approx 30 mins of me chasing Pogo around, and her chasing me with the camera. Many photos, all unflattering, mostly of my arse, since my jeans were falling down. You can look back now, the ugly photos are gone.

In other news, even though I'm not a fan, it's kinda shocking that Kylie Minogue has breast cancer. She's so thin and healthy looking.

Haircut!

2005-05-15T18:26:00.000Z

Today I got my hair cut off. It used to be nearly to my waist, now it's about 2 inches below my shoulders(or would be, were it not curly -glares-). I was pretty freaked out by how much got taken off, but it was for the best, not only did my hair dominate my whole body, me being the tiny midget that I am, but it was getting too long to do anything with, and wouldn't go into a plait, so showing would be out. I had it straightened afterwards. It dropped out within 4 hours and went back to my trademark scruffy waves, but nevermind, it looks pretty hot if I do say so myself. :)

I'm going to dye it red this week. I'll probably look like an electrofied 70s throwback. Awesome.

Freaking stupid ringtones.

2005-05-12T11:04:00.000Z

The world has gone absofuckinglutely mad. Apparently the "Crazy Frog" ringtone has made £10M worldwide, and is the most popular ringtone ever. I can't turn on my tv without "Dudingdingding", and the remix is even worse. Plus there are now many new singing animal things for phones. There's these idiot yellow birds, which are even more annoying than the frog, and a dragon thing. They make me want to gnaw my own ears off.

Last night I got on Mogul for the first time, when he was loose in his field. He was fine about it. I love my calm 2 year old. ^_^

OJ Overuse.

2005-05-09T19:13:00.000Z

Heh, my mum just had a huge hissy fit because I've drunk 3 cartons of OJ in the last 2 days. Ooops. :\

Bored.

2005-05-09T17:09:00.000Z

Ok, so I literally got up just about an hour ago(4PM my time). Lazy huh? But I figured last time I was sick I pushed myself too hard and look where that got me. I wasn't asleep all that time, but in various stages of awakeness.

I've been trying to carry on with my French, which has decended into a terrible level of awfulness, considering I used to be pretty good. I'm talking to Ben in French over AIM quite a lot to try to remedy this. It makes him happy, since my French is better than his English, which really isn't saying much. He can insult you in English, and that's about as far as it goes.

I have no books to read, that sounds so nerdy, but really, I go mad without something stupidly deep and philosophical (or just downright rude, like The War of Don Emmanuel's Nether Parts by Louis de Bernieres(yes, nether parts, that isn't innuendo, that's what it's about)to read.

In other news, Katie is back from Australia, and obviously doesn't hang about. She's ridden 3 horses today, tidied up Apache and Pie yesterday, and is backing Apache in the next few days. I can't wait for Pie to drop her foal, it'll probably be in June though . >_< The grey mare I mentioned in a previous post has a new foal, a chestnut foal like her last one.

I was going to ride tonight, but I'm too tired and sick. I'll almost certainly force myself to take Nim out tomorrow though. He's fat enough as it is without getting a holiday.

Where art thou PsyPets?

2005-05-08T10:56:00.000Z

I know I was taking some time out, trying to rest and that, but my mum is making me do some computer stuff for her, because she keeps breaking the computer.

PsyPets has been taken down by the server. :'(

At least I get a break from having to worry about whether they're going to smash stuff, but still. >:(

If I close my eyes for more than 10 seconds, I swear I'll fall asleep, that's how knackered and wiped out I am. Better get back to doing this crap I'm supposed to be doing. I'm slacking! :o

Owww.

2005-05-07T20:46:00.000Z

I'm back once again to check the pets. I can't stop myself from blogging. I'm addicted to it. After tonight I'm going to take a day off the internet until tomorrow evening. I feel like someone has been kicking me repeatedly. I'm also depressed about not going to the party I never knew existed until earlier. Crappy electric thermometer says fever is 102.6ºF. This is with all the windows open and my radiator set to do air conditioning. My whole body aches. I bet this is the fault of the kids I babysat for. Walking germbags...

-Wanders off muttering to self-

Why don't people remind me about parties?

2005-05-07T14:20:00.000Z

So Hazel phoned me up about an hour ago, and asked me how I was getting to the party. Party? WTF?

She says Dani is having a party tonight and she invited me more than a month ago and I said I'd go. I don't remember this. But apparently I did. So I cancelled, because I don't think getting pissed is the best course of action right now, and she said I was just cancelling because Matt would be there. Wha? I didn't even know he was gonna be there. And him being there would be no reason for me to not go. Totty at a party is awesome. Anyway, she doesn't believe me. Bugger that.

My voice is suddenly husky and sexy. Pity there's no one to charm with it.

Well, I'm gonna go back to bed in a minute. Just came to check the PsyPets.

Ick.

2005-05-07T08:31:00.000Z

I spent pretty much all of last night being all feverish and throwing up. Very unpleasant. I feel like five kinds of shit. I'm probably not going to be around here much for the next couple of days.

Run down.

2005-05-06T15:10:00.000Z

Yesterday from 3PM to 8PM I was babysitting some brats in Dunster. Horrible things. The boy, Michael, kept biting his sister. e_e

Is it just me, or am I old before my time, or are kids really out of control these days?! If they were my kids I'd bollock them, then again, I have no tolerance. I should get myself spayed or something, I pity any future children born to me.

So after I got done with babysitting, I went to ride Nimbus, Lisa was riding Harvey because he'd been bucking Annabelle and Ashton off, and apparently she had the balls to sort him out. Which she did. She whacked him with a stick and he thought: "Ooer, better not try pissing around today!" and behaved impeccably.

Then I went to get Mogul out, he wouldn't come near me, so after 30 minutes of walking around trying to catch him, I managed to coax him over with a carrot, and grabbed him by the headcollar. Success.

On the way back to the yard with him it all went a bit weird. Suddenly I was bent over trying not to throw up. Very odd. Since then I've been all nauseous on and off. I think it's the bad effects of staying up too late every night, watching things like Dr Tatiana's Sex Advice For The Whole Of Creation (never has people in animal suits singing about their sex lives been more enjoyable), and falling asleep in front of the tv, and waking up at 3AM every morning because it's blaring out Countdown really loudly.

Now my ears hurt too. Oh well, must take the dog for a walk.... toodles.

Vote Tory!

2005-05-05T11:37:00.000Z

Damnit I wish I was 18. >_<

Sketchy sketchy!

2005-05-03T19:01:00.000Z

Today I dug out the photos I'd been taking of horses around here, and some sketches to attempt my own versions of, and played around a bit. I really can't draw. Really. I suck.

Here is the proof:

These are a bit diabolical. XD

A really ugly horse! With ugly legs! And an ugly face! I used him as a rough guide for the even worse computer attempt -

Then I did:

These aren't as bad. I quite like them. The second one needs smaller and less pointy ears, and the mare needs some serious work on the legs, but somehow I managed to get a resemblance to the horses.

-Hides-

I need art lessons.

Basil - The dog with a taste for literature.

2005-05-02T18:15:00.000Z

Oh yes, he's a real pissbag. This morning he chewed up Doctor Zhivago. He chewed up about 20 pages in 2 different places. I only left the room for a minute or so. I ended up sticking them back together with sellotape, which was no easy task. He'd almost completely shredded some pages. The first section was the worst, about 12 pages ripped to pieces, in the bit where Yury thinks Tonya is pregnant, then sees Lara in the Yuryatin library, then their conversation about Strelnikov being Pasha. The second bit was towards the end, at a really important bit, where Yury tricks Lara into taking Katya out of the country with Komarovsky, and stays at Mikulitsin's house in Varykino, and Pasha breaks in, they talk, then he shoots himself, then the beginning of the epilogue, where Yury turns into a bum and dies etc.

That dog has no respect for fine literature obviously. He actually swallowed half of one page. e_e

I rode Nimbus today, what with it being May Day and all. The bridlepaths were so busy. At one point we were having a race with some biker dudes, then I let them pass. It started with a comment from one of the guys of: "Last one to Porlock is a faggot," then I galloped off into the distance. Later I let them pass, and the same guy said: "The horse had early speed, but we had the stamina." Tchah.

He's going really well on the bit. If you drop the reins now he goes long and low, and seeks the contact,(for all you non-horsey people, this is a good thing) he's going right from his hocks in trot and canter, and is working deeper and deeper in walk. He's getting scarily muscular.

Must go, the dog is trying to climb my bookcase.

I'm really in my blogging groove...

2005-05-01T19:32:00.000Z

Oh yes. I'm blogging consistently. Get me.

Today I went to see the Arab breeding neighbor's horses on the way past when I was walking Basil. Only 3 of them were out, Joey (<3), a palomino mare, and an adorable chestnut gelding.

The palomino is adorable. She was sniffing Basil and rooting through my pockets for food, then undid the zip on my jacket.

The chestnut was shy, but he let me pet his ears.

Joey came and stuck her head over the fence and stood there for ages letting me play with her mane. It was all tangled with burs and thistley things. She's so pretty. I don't want her to move to Kent. At least when she's there, even if she isn't mine, I'm allowed to go over and see her and play with her. I won't have that joy if she's in Kent. Nimbus would love her. He likes pretty mares. Especially young uns.

Today Basil had his second bath in less than a week. He rolled in badger crap again. My mum gave him a weird haircut. She just sort of cut all the hair on top of his head off, so with his huge ears he looks like a glam rocker with a mullet.

Hopefully I'm riding tomorrow. In the evening as usual. It's convenient, plus it's cool. It feels too hot for Britain for this time of year.

At the moment, I am loving on the telly:
Playing It Straight (Oh yes, I am that sad... I just love watching metrosexual yet muscly men trying to prove how butch they are on "El Rancho Macho".)

I am not liking:
The new series of Doctor Who... that Dalek stair thing was just so fake looking. Someone needs to teach Billie Piper how to act. They should stick Tom Baker in as a cameo.
My mum. Someone take her away. ;-;

The Ratbag.

2005-04-30T14:11:00.000Z

Tuesday was Basil's birthday. On Monday, Basil rolled in badger poop. For those city dwellers who are blessed in the fact that they don't own a dog/their dog isn't really gross, badger poop is the worst smelling substance known to man, beast or machine. It's horrible.
So, my mum goes and buys some dog shampoo, and also buys Basil's present, when she gets back, I bathe Basil. He now smells like shampoo, and the shampoo is bright pink. For a few minutes I was slightly terrified that I was going to be the proud owner of the first black and cerise pink English Cocker Spaniel. Luckily the colour washed away.
Then I tried to blowdry his fur, which resulted in my bed getting soaking wet, because he kept running away and jumping on it, and him looking like a living puffball. Afterwards Basil was lovely and dry, but also shaking with fear. I am a mean owner. So my mum took him downstairs for a while, except she didn't watch him, she painted the hallway instead, and Basil found his birthday present, and ran off with it. So she chased him, and he ran in the paint, so now there are big white pawprints on the carpet on the stairs.
Two days after Basil gets his toy, he rips the head off. Charming.

Here are some photos of the birthday ratbag.

In other news, I'm too scared to watch the HHGTTG film, cos I know it'll be a screw-up. The only thing I've liked about the trailers were the bits with Marvin in, because they made him so damned cool looking, but I'm slightly put off because I know the guy inside is one of the midgets from Willow, which is downright freaky.

I rode bareback last night. My mum was shouting at me that I was going to get myself killed, but I didn't. Nimbus is going on the bit more, and he's creating more impulsion from behind. I'm such a proud mummy.

And, forgive me for the inner n00b breaking free, but...

LYK OMG IN 3 MONTHS AND 4 DAYS I CAN DRIVE!

Tranquil

2005-04-28T17:43:00.000Z

The sun is going down, I'm gazing out of the open window, looking over the moors. There's mist. You can barely see where the sheep end and the clouds begin. The sweet smells of rain, pine trees and decay merge as one.
It's amazing how, no matter what happens to us, day will still turn to night, and night will turn to day. People die, babies are born and in time they die too, wars are fought, but there will still be day and night.
Can a person as small and insignificant as I am really make an impact on this world? There's an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. The only certain thing is death. Only then will I have an impact. I will be part of the earth from which I came.

"So, they are not underground,
But as nerves and veins abound,
In the growths of upper air,
And they feel the sun and rain,
And the energy again,
That made them what they were!"

-Thomas Hardy, "Transformations".

100 Greatest Kids Tv Shows

2005-04-25T11:27:00.000Z

So last night I was watching this programme, and I'm dead pissed that the Simpsons won. A) Half the people that voted for it probably never saw it as a kid. B) I don't really think it counts as official kids tv. South Park is also watched by kids, but that doesn't make it a kids programme.

Anyway, here is the list, and the ones I have asterisked are my favourites. Because I am obviously better at choosing than the general public. :P

(Yes, I am well aware that half of these were made well before I was born, but I had them on video, and my mum obviously thought that (then) current tv was too wild for me or something.)

The Simpsons
The Muppet Show
Dangermouse (My mum's favourite :P)
Bagpuss***
Grange Hill**
Mr Benn**
Rainbow***
Scooby Doo(I hate Scooby Doo, with a vengeance)
Dr Who
He-Man and Masters of the Universe
The Magic Roundabout***
The Clangers***
Wallace and Gromit** (Again, is this really kids tv? And it wasn't a "show", there were only 3 episodes of it.)
Rentaghost
Maid Marian and Her Merry Men***
Tom and Jerry
The Wombles***(Underground, Overground Wombling Free...)
The Flintstones
Hong Kong Phooey
Worzel Gummidge
Knightmare*
Trumpton**
Postman Pat*** (Really, I love Postman Pat. I wanted to marry him as a child, then again, I also wanted him to be my father, how messed up.)
Thunderbirds
Jim'll Fix It
Thomas The Tank Engine
Roobarb and Custard
Jamie and the Magic Torch
SM:TV Live**(Ant and Dec were good, the people that came after were shite.)
Sesame Street*(I watched it, but I can't say that I actually enjoyed it.)
The Basil Brush Show
Boss / Top Cat
Blue Peter
Byker Grove*
Banana Splits
The Sooty Show
Chorlton and the Wheelies
Roland Rat
The Adventure Game
Why Don't You?
Tiswas
Battle of the Planets
Play School
Batman
Captain Pugwash
Press Gang
Crackerjack
Fingerbobs
The Tomorrow People
Multi-Coloured Swap Shop
Captain Scarlet
The Herbs*** (I had a video of the herbs! My favourite was (I'm a very friendly lion called)Parsley!)
Timmy Mallett's Wide Awake Club (Death to you Timmy Mallet....)
Animal Magic
Pipkins
Wind In The Willows
The Flowerpot Men
Metal Mickey
Pob's Programme
The Adventures of Black Beauty
Andy Pandy
Lassie
John Craven's Newsround
Famous Five
How
Double Deckers
The Snowman
Record Breakers
Mary, Mungo and Midge
Jackanory
Bob The Builder
Michael Bentine's Potty Time
Pokemon
Skippy
Noggin The Nog
We Are The Champions
Catweazle
Tweenies
Hammy Hamster's Tales From the Riverbank**(I had a video of this too, I was rather distressed to learn that they got through so many hamsters and rats, I wonder how many Mr Guinea Pigs there were.)
Cheggers Plays Pop
The Adventures of Robin Hood
Pinky and Perky
The Secret Garden
Vision On
Just William
Hector's House
The Woodentops
Teletubbies
Daktari
Runaround
Magpie
Screen Test
White Horses
H R Pufenstuf
Children's Film Foundation
The Singing Ringing Tree
Crystal Tipps and Alistair
Muffin the Mule
Do Not Adjust Your Set
Junior Showtime

They should have had Playdays on. :( I loved that show. And King Rollo. God knows what happened to him. And Greenclaws! He did exist, he wasn't a figment of my imagination, honest!

Bunnies, fat people, Popes, real men, and the general election.

2005-04-21T19:18:00.000Z

Yes, this is my first "controversial" post. I'm rather pissed off with the world.

Subject 1. Bunnies.

Bunnies really piss me off. Especially the ones that live in Nimbus' field. It seems that nowhere houses a bigger bunny population than North Hill. I have this crazy desire to gallop around whacking them over the head with my polo mallet.
Yesterday I took Nimbus riding for the 3rd or 4th time since he moved yards. He went like an angel, bless him. He didn't take off either, and we opened and shut a gate twice perfectly. You couldn't have done it better if you tried. He's gotten so good at rein back, clever boy. ^_^
All was bliss. Apart from the bunnies.
Nimbus, it seems, couldn't give a rat's arse about rabbits in his field. They could hold hands and dance around him singing the national anthem and he wouldn't bat an eyelid. Bunnies running past him out riding? Scary.
Luckily he didn't go too overboard with the shying. Bunny rant over.

Subject 2. Fat people.

Now don't get me wrong, I love fat people, they're great, but "Welcome to Fatland" was disgusting. It was some documentry on ITV t'other day about this resort for fat people, with massive beds and chairs and stuff, and there was this crazy fat blonde American woman "Yaying" them (as opposed to weighing them - "You Yay fabulous!"), and telling them that they should be happier than the skinnies, 'cos apparently being fat is better. I mean, what sort of world is this? Fat people may have a better outlook or something, or so we're led to believe, but the fact still remains that being morbidly obese is really damaging to one's health. I have scary thoughts of a world in 50 years time where the skinny kids get bullied by the fat kids.
Encouraging them to eat more is, in my opinion, not a good thing.

Subject 3. The Pope.

Ok, so they got a new Pope. Great right? No.
Well, the world seems to think it is, but Ratzinger ("God's Rottweiler") is an idiot. He doesn't want women in the church, he's anti-abortion, and he's said that using condoms to prevent HIV/AIDs is evil. The others are fairly acceptable, Catholics are hardly the most liberal of people at the best of times, but saying condoms are "evil" is stupid. Who cares if the whole Catholic church dies of AIDs? As long as they're all going to go to heaven for it. Maybe he wants to overpopulate the world with tons of Chavvy Catholic kiddies. If they're in this country they'll be parents by 12 and have ASBOs by 4.
Things like this annoy me, and I'm not even remotely religious.

Subject 4. David Beckham.

Ok, romance is cute right? No.
Apparently David Beckham kitted out a private jet with rose petals on all the seats for Posh's birthday. How gross, poor woman. What a soft git.
Give me a man with stubble, who works on a farm, doesn't bath for days and stinks of sheep. Who never remembers my birthday without a lot of pestering, and only ever gets last minute chrysanthemums from Tescos.
All this nasty "New Man" stuff is nauseating. I guess I'm stuck in my ways. More proof that I should have been born sometime between the 50s and 70s. I listen to music that was made before I was born more than modern stuff anyway.

Subject 5. Politics.

How much longer now? 2 weeks? -Groans-
All this politics on tv is so boring. You can't turn on the tv without seeing Gordon and Tony snogging, or Michael Howard sinisterly talking to children, or Charles Kennedy being... well... ginger and Scottish basically. This is all the more depressing because I can't vote, and my mum can, and she's voting for the idiotic Lib Dems. GRAH.
Oh well, it's not like this constituency matters anyway. The Tories have it all tied up already apparently. Yay.

End rant.

Psychotic

2005-04-08T17:35:00.000Z

I am officially out of my tree. Earlier I was walking down the road to talk to Joey and this butterfly flew outta nowhere, and what did I do? I jumped into the nearest hedge, which was actually quite far away. Ok, I need a less embarrassing phobia. At least it isn't tomato ketchup like Laura's. XD

I am also incredibly embarrassed. Dennis, the local skivvy for the Carters, was working on a fence in a field outside my window. Dumbarse here didn't see him. He saw me though, undressing. I really need to get some net curtains. >< It wouldn't be so bad if he was young and hot, he's like 70.

Tomorrow we move the horses to a new yard. Libby is a cow. Jill (Mo's breeder) and Hillary (Mogul fanclub member) are coming to give us a hand. I want to sedate Mac to the point of unconsciousness but mum says it's unethical. They should enjoy it there, there are mares for them to ogle.

Physio and Death

2005-04-06T19:20:00.000Z

I had physio on my evil shoulder yesterday, it was horrible. It was a MALE physiotherapist for a start. MALE. -Shudders- I won't go into detail about what caused the shoulder to fuck up again because I'll probably start hitting things from rage. Gah.

Anyway, the last week has been oh-so-joyful, what with the death of Terri Whatsit, that Yank with the tube and all that, the Pope, and Prince Thingum of Monaco. Because of the Pope dying, Charles and Camilla have had to set their wedding back to Saturday, as Charles is expected to be at the funeral of the Pope on behalf of the Queen or something, I think the Queen assasinated him deliberately, she obviously doesn't want it to go ahead. There was a rather amusing cartoon in the newpaper with the Queen asking TB if he could announce the election for Saturday. XD

Meanwhile, the official wedding merchandise has the wrong date on, which leads to mass hysteria and buying up of aforesaid wrong merchandise, as apparently it'll be worth a mint sometime in the future (like, never). This mass hysteria unfortunately includes my grandfather, shame on him, as if he hasn't got enough money already.

So, Charles and Camilla have to marry on Saturday, which means the Grand National is starting 25 minutes late (quote Nealikins: "I personally think it's so Camilla can run in it."), which is really annoying. I need to remember to look at the runners so I can get someone to place a bet for me.

Groovy Baby Yeah!

2005-04-02T18:55:00.000Z

I'm A 1970s Geek
You've decided for the world that it's time for a change. JOIN THE GEEK REVOLUTION!
find your geek decade at spacefem.com

-Luxuriates in the shag carpet-

It says a lot when one has nothing more interesting to do than lots and lots of internet quizzes. :)

Mwah ha ha!

2005-04-01T09:56:00.000Z

English Genius
You scored 92% Beginner, 92% Intermediate, 87% Advanced, and 100% Expert!

You did so extremely well, even I
can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon
intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You
have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly!
Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 43% on Beginner
You scored higher than 39% on Intermediate
You scored higher than 29% on Advanced
You scored higher than 99% on Expert

Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test

-Rubs beard with glee-

In which the Nimbus is safely returned home from her quest...

2005-03-31T09:23:00.000Z

Yes. I am back. I love internet cafes. Especially ones with nice chairs that conveniently have AIM installed and happen to be in the right places at the right times. They rock.

I haven't slept at all since yesterday, but cannot sleep now. I think this is insomnia, and is gotten from talking to the Nealikins too much.

The Nimbus now has the arduous task of entering 300 FP shows.

The Nimbus doesn't feel good.

The Nimbus needs to stop typing in the fucking third person.

Bye bye.

In which Nimbus prepares to go into the unknown East. Well, London.

2005-03-30T19:08:00.000Z

Alright alright, so it isn't unknown, but the East is certainly menacing, that's where the Vikings attacked us from, that's where all the big bad nasties lived, and that's where Mordor is in LoTR!

Tonight, I'm going by coach to see one of my old friends onto a plane, she's moving to New York, the state. -Sob-

Which means a 9 hour round trip, and I won't get any sleep tonight, oh joy.

And the Nimbus is ill. I saw Scott at the w/e, and he indiscriminately had fun coughing all over me. Stupid Scott. So now I have his cold and it isn't nice sneezing at inappropriate moments and generally feeling manky. Damn it. I will have my revenge.

Anyway, I must go finish preparing. If I'm not back by tomorrow I've been captured by drug barons or attacked by wild bears. I hope one of you guys will come and hunt for me, but I doubt it. :P

Updatification II: The second one

2005-03-21T19:32:00.000Z

Yes. I am a slacker. But I've been busy playing around with the moving and improving of the crappy website. Yes yes I know the graphics are still awful. Ignore them goddamnit. It is at nimbus.partyp00per.com Many many dots to type there. I had to count them and check I hadn't put in too many.

Anyway. Horses are dumb. Anne's horse Annie, the old nag (Annie, not Anne ;) ), decided her arse was itchy. So what did she scratch it on? The bloody phone line mast. e_e So she managed to break the flipping thing. And I was very distraught about my pets. Meanwhile, we have no food, so my mum steals my mobile and goes down to the end of the drive (there is no signal at ours) to phone for some chips. This dodgy foreign bloke picks up, says it'll be 20 minutes. 30 minutes later, no chips, and I have been eagle eyeing the drive so I -know- no cars came up. My mum goes down the road to phone up Dodgy Foreign Bloke again and ask where it is. "Er, he already came and knocked on your door and no one answered" says Dodgy Foreign Bloke. Of course, this was after 5 minutes spent talking very slowly, because he hardly knows any English. Erm, no dear, no knock on the door. For one thing, the top of the door was open, on account of paint fumes. So he says it'll be 5 minutes. 20 minutes later, nothing. Goes back to phone. Apparently on it's way.

So, this continues until 2 hours and 40 minutes later we give up. It never did get here. I had to have a jacket potato, which I microwaved to death. The skin ended up being 3 inches thick. And I burnt myself getting it out. I should sue them because I had to cook because of their incompetence.

Anyway, I'm hurriedly cooking my potato when my idiotic mother yells: "Kayleigh, Baz is limping!!"

Tchah. "Are all his legs still attached?" I ask sarcastically.

"I don't know, I'll check." :cue sound of fat woman going up stairs: "Yes, yes I think so."

"Then he'll be alright until after my potato is eaten."

He was fine after my potato had been eaten. So fine in fact that he licked my plate for me.

My day

2005-03-07T15:51:00.000Z

Well, today was tiring. Last night I'd been battling with horrible coursework to be handed in today, but didn't manage it, so I did that this morning, my mum went to Taunton leaving me with Basil. I eventually managed to do the coursework, then noticed how grubby my tack was looking. So I cleaned and conditioned the saddle, bridle, stirrup leathers and breastplate/martingale, and put my saddle cover, girth and numnah in the bath. The bath water turned dark brown. Several rinses later, numnah, girth and saddle cover look as good as new, though the colour from the stupid cottage craft girth was still bleeding. Then I cleaned my stirrup irons and bit.

When my mum got home she took me down to college to hand in the coursework, and then complained about the ginger hairs in the bath (from the pony of course).

Then I slept for about 3 hours.

Here are my photos from today.

The saddle, yes, I'm afraid that's post cleaning, I need to get the suede kneerolls replaced.

My seksi bridle, bit, reins, breastplate and martingale. They scrub up well.

Some of my rosettes. This is a brag photo. The mahoosive one is from the Xmas foal show 2003.

(Linked because blogger seems to have problems with posting stuff, ie, it posts a broken image then my url... ><)

Internet + Kayleigh = Ugly disaster

2005-03-06T17:22:00.000Z

So, I was bored and decided to play around with layouts, so I quickly got a free hosting account and started to mess with it. It's truly truly awful. A) It's a table layout (tables should really be used for showing information, not for layouts, but until I find a better way, table it is) B) I knocked the most hideous graphics known to man or beast up in about 5 seconds flat, I'll redo them as nice ones eventually, when I have the time/motivation C) as yet no content. I've realised how much I suck, but it's probably the most accomplished thing I've done to date (meaning I actually used CSS , and it pretty much worked(shock horror)). One of these days I'll do something decent. One day.

Anyway, it can be found here. I recommend either sunglasses or closing your eyes though, to protect yourself from the horror of it all. Oh, and if it doesn't come up, try refreshing. It's an incredibly unreliable host at peak times...

I suck.

Later - 5:49PM

It's fucking ugly, but the site validator likes it!

The site told me no errors :o

Sinful

2005-03-05T20:50:00.000Z

I'm going to kill myself, it's like my path of self destruction as a 14-15 year old, only this time it's with chocolate. I got so depressed with the nonfunstuffdiet that I pigged out on Kinder Surprises. 3 of them. I feel really sick now, and really sinful. On the plus side, I got 2 toy cars and a little gnome thing from them, the toys seem to be less impressive than when I was 4 though.

Must stop breaking free. Must start trying to get better. I need to get someone to come over and stop me from being such a dickhead.

Time flies when you're not having fun...

2005-03-05T14:53:00.000Z

Well, it's been a while. I got out of hospital yesterday, and I'm determined not to go back, which means I have 2 options a) force myself to get better by pushing myself (not too successful previously) or b) do nothing for ages in the hope that it'll allow my body to heal itself. Option b comes with the drawback that I'll go mad doing it.

I managed to blow up the laptop, but it seems to be happy again now, had to get a friend to log in as me to sort out my PsyPets, who, of course, were completely happy, and hadn't smashed anything up, which was frustrating since I'd spent the previous night in blind panic imagining the pets smashing up my Ruby Plushy and 8 RoR+2s. On a plus note, Aralli and Wrinkles were even ready to level up, and Aralli is doing really well at hunting and brawling. Sock Thing is also making huge progress.

I had skinprick tests at the hospital, no longer allergic to yeast, now looks like am intolerant to gluten and lactose, which is much worse, so I'm now on an exclusion diet, which means no nice food. Soy milk is absolutely disgusting, as is rye bread. Everything seems to have at least one of the things I'm not supposed to eat in it. Except for rice, which would give me an excuse to eat tons of Chinese food, if they didn't load it with MSG.

Anyway, plan of attack for today is lounging around doing nothing, I've been poking around on openCanvas, making little buttons for my FP layout that look like a dyslexic toddler has done them, my mouse skills are appauling. I have a sudden desire to get back into trying to learn how to make a vaguely passable website, but am pissed off with all the crappy free servers.

I have another sudden desire to work out, but I think that'll have to go on standby for a while.

Sudden desire number 3 - swot up. My maths is appauling as was proven last night.

All in all, I'm quite happy today, tired and achy but happy. My throat is almost completely happy again after its trauma with the trach, and being out of the hospital makes me chipper.

Blargh

2005-02-24T15:42:00.000Z

I've been putting off blogging, I'm sorry.

On Tuesday (was it Tuesday?!?), I got taken back to hospital cos my LC went down to half what it should be, and blood oxygen was ridiculously low, even for me. Since then I've had chest drain put in, chest x-rays(I still have the bodyparts I'm supposed to apparently), a constant iv, a monitor that alarms pretty much constantly, and a tube put down my throat, which at one point was attached to a machine that was helping me breathe, which was horrible. I can't taunt the trained monkeys (NHS staff) because the tube stops me. I think that was intentional...

Need to get out for March 6th, Knowle WSRC horse show. -Whimpers for lack of ponies-

I'm trying to stay optimistic. At least I now have my bank card so can order Laura's bday present online, if it comes on time. I've found a few things that would do the job, and I'm looking into which has best P&P (I'm such a cheapskate...)...

My typing is getting horrendous now. Better stop trying before I ruin the backspace.

Updatification

2005-02-19T14:20:00.000Z

Well, I am back home. They wanted to keep me in for a few more days, because the monitor still kept alarming every so often because of low blood oxygen, but I called my granddad and persuaded him to sign me out. My mum shouted at us both. It was funny. Yesterday I got home at 3PM or so, and then slept for 3 hours, then went online for 3 hours, then slept again. I feel really really ill, but at least it's better here than at the hospital. If it says I'm online today - I may not be, I'm lying in bed, and it's so warm and sleepymaking....

Zzz...

Euphoria

2005-02-15T18:38:00.000Z

I'm strangely happy today, yet actually sane at the same time, which is quite a revelation for me.

I got the chest tube out at about 10AM this morning, and I feel really free without it. There's still fluid in and around my left lung, but it's less than it was last time they took it out. They're going to keep an eye on it, my oxygen level has dropped since they took it out, but not too much.

Hoping to get out on Thursday or Friday. Morphine withdrawal fun. Like cocaine hangover, only more happy making. I can't keep my hands still. ^^

Hospital food tonight: Manky curry, obviously from a jar. So mild you could give it to babies. Yuck.

-Crosses fingers-

2005-02-14T18:21:00.000Z

After much pester power, it seems that I've managed to actually get an answer, I'll probably get out on Wednesday or Thursday. I'm being slowly weaned off morphine (damn the withdrawal symptoms), and they're taking the chest drain out tomorrow, if I manage to cope without it, then I'll be able to go home as early as Wednesday, if not then I'm buggered and back to square one.

Hospital food tonight was manky, soggy Aunt Bessie's Oven Chips, and burgers that tasted like they'd been cooked, then reheated several times. Have been found out about the food stashing in bin, was told off my doctors and mother alike.

-Crosses fingers some more-

Racing

2005-02-13T14:16:00.000Z

Well, today if I wasn't in the hellhole, I'd have gone to some races, where my friend is racing her point to pointer, Archie. Last time he was out he did horrendously, but I'd seen him not long ago in much better form. I was going to get some legal people to drop some bets on for me, only about £50 or so, his starting odds were 8/1. He only bloody went and won. I'd have made a good sum. Drat.

Ho hum.

2005-02-12T20:54:00.000Z

Today I've decided that nocturnal activity is not for me. Batlike I am not. Lack of sleep makes the Nimbus depressed. Depression makes the Nimbus whiney. I've been running over things that I'd rather not be running over recently, things I'd pushed to the back of my mind, and now I can't stop the visions of stuff.

Oh well, life goes on eh?

Hospital food this evening was congealed pasta - I pretended to eat it, and got my mate to shove it in the bin. :)

Why am I here again?

2005-02-12T08:04:00.000Z

I just came here with the intention of blogging about something interesting, but thanks to my late night internetting and Rocky Horror watching, and the stupidly early time I was woken up this morning, I'm far too stupid to be amusing. I'll either blog tomorrow, or wake myself up for later.

Brit awards

2005-02-11T15:15:00.000Z

Well, the Brits ceremony was alright, Chris Evans was shit though, but it was funny when his "wife" Billie rejected his offer of chips.

Here is my run down of who won, and who should have won:
Best song of the last 25 years:
Nominees:
Angels - Robbie Williams
Love will tear us apart - Joy Division
We are the champions - Queen
Leave right now - Will Young
Wuthering Heights - Kate Bush
Robbie won, but Queen or Joy Division should have.

Best British band:
Nominees:
Keane
Muse
Franz Ferdinand
Kasabian
Snow Patrol
FF won, I'm pretty sure they deserved this one, they've had a pretty amazing year, there isn't a huge amount of diversity in the category.

British male solo artist:
The Streets
Lemar
Jamie Cullum
Morrissey
Will Young
Mike Skinner (The Streets) won, for an urban artist he's pretty good. He's had a good year.

British female solo artist:
Amy Winehouse
Joss Stone
Jamelia
Natasha Beddingfield
PJ Harvey
Not a great list of names, Joss stone won (Why?!?! She's got a voice that could be used for scraping paint off the walls...), I think Natasha Beddingfield or Jamelia should have really, no matter how much I hate them.

British album:
Keane - Hopes and Fears
Franz Ferdinand - Franz Ferdinand
Muse - Absolution
Snow Patrol - Final Straw
The Streets - A grand don't come for free.
Keane won this, they're all pretty strong albums, it's a hard task picking the best.

British single:
Will Young - Your game
Band Aid 20 - Do they know it's Christmas
George Michael - Amazing
Jamelia - Thank you
Keane - Everybody's Changing
LMC vs U2 - Take me to the clouds above
Natasha Beddingfield - These words
Shapeshifters - Lola's theme
Sugarbabes - In the middle
The Streets - Dry your eyes
Will Young won, which is pretty diabolical. The song is pretty mediocre. Keane probably should have won.

British breakthrough act:
Joss Stone
Keane
Franz Ferdinand
Natasha Beddingfield
The Zutons
Keane won. They're really not too bad for pop music. I don't care what anyone says though, they'd be better with a guitarist.

British urban act:
Joss Stone
Dizzee Rascal
Jamelia
Lemar
The Streets
Joss Stone won again, smiling like a Cheshire cat. The Streets should have though.

British rock act:
The Libertines
Kasabian
Franz Ferdinand
Muse
Snow Patrol
Franz Ferdinand won again.

British live act:
Muse
Jamie Cullum
Kasabian
Franz Ferdinand
The Libertines
Muse won, Neal will be pleased.

Pop act:
McFly
Natasha Beddingfield
Girls Aloud
Avril Lavigne
Westlife
McFly won. Everyone in the category is pretty awful though. I'd take great delight in sticking needles into little voodoo dolls of each of them in turn.

International male solo artist:
Eminem
Kanye West
Brian Wilson
Usher
Tom Waits
Eminem won, which is fairly self explanatory. I'm slightly embarrassed that I'm not sure who some of these are though... I'm glad Usher didn't win though.

International female solo artist:
Gwen Stefani
Alicia Keys
Kelis
Kylie Minogue
Anastacia
Gwen got it, I was a little bit surprised. I thought Kylie or Anastacia had done better this year.

International group:
Green Day
Maroon 5
Scissor Sisters
OutKast
U2
Scissor Sisters won, and that performance justified it. It was like my childhood fantasies come true. People are saying U2 should have won, I think not. To be honest I'd rather drink burning candle wax than listen to Vertigo.

International album
Scissor Sisters - Scissor Sisters
Killers - Hot Fuss
Maroon 5 - Songs about Jane
OutKast - Speakerboxxx/The love below
U2 - How to dismantle an atomic bomb
Scissor Sisters won again, I bet Bono was pissed.

International breakthrough act:
Scissor Sisters
Jet
Kanye West
Killers
Maroon 5
Yet again the Scissor Sisters won.

Outstanding contribution to music:
Bob Geldof (Sir).
He didn't exactly win, but well done to him, he gave a pretty good performance.

Best performance of the night in my opinion was by the Scissor Sisters. The worst was a toss up between the Joss Stone/Robbie thing, which was nauseating (he's old enough to be her dad now, and they looked like they were going to snog eachothers faces off), The Streets (diabolically off key) and Green Day(the choice of song was bad, we really don't care about American Idiots thank you very much).

My review/rant is now over. You can go back to your happy lives.

Current Affairs

2005-02-10T14:06:00.000Z

I logged off this morning and turned on the tv to see headlines flashing up about Prince Charles. Apparently he's gone completely mad and is going to get married to Camilla - with the contested Parliament Act which is unlawfully banning hunting. She's going to be "Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall", and if he becomes King - the Princess Consort. Has the whole country gone mad? TB and the rest of his motley gang have been saying how happy they are, as has the Queen, Prince Phillip, and even the Archbishop of Canterbury. Do people not remember 1936 - not even a century ago - when King Edward VIII had to abdicate to marry Wallace Simpson?!?! No Parliament Act then, and no HRH titles. She'll be Queen Camilla Parker Bowles (Windsor? Shand-Windsor?!?!?) in all but name.

The monarchy shouldn't have set such rules if they are only going to break them.

I was pleased to see Michael Howard's words of congratulations though, he had a false smile on the size of France.

In other news, the Brit awards went pretty much as expected, except for that cock up with Robbie Williams getting that best single thing for Angels. Queen should have won, but we all know how the panel love people who turn up for their awards - Freddie Mercury could hardly have done that eh?

Energetic

2005-02-09T12:15:00.000Z

I'm still in hospital. I hate it. My whole body hurts from lack of movement and the pneumonia, and I can't get all the tension out of me.

My way of coping with stress is odd. Some people don't talk for days on end, others scream and shout at people, others just act like angsty imbeciles, and others play their music loud. Me? I run.

I hated PE at school, with a vengeance, because playing basketball and rounders didn't cut it, I mean real running. Before I got stuck in hospital, and before I got ME, I used to get off the bus or tram, or if was walking home, would leave my friends at the corner, and bomb home. Running so hard that at first I'd have to lean against lamp posts to stop myself from collapsing, which I've done from sheer exhaustion a couple of time, running so that my lungs are screaming with pain. It makes me feel alive. I used to run out of the house, and run all the way to Timberscombe Common and then lie in the grass and think.

I guess I've always been a little extreme, when I was 8 or so, I'd lie under the water in the bath, leaving it until I was almost drowning, but not quite. It makes me feel like me.

And this is why I feel so useless and pained right now, I can't run, there's nowhere to go, and I doubt I'd be able to anyway. Running is my coping mechanism, thank goodness for laptops or I'd have ended up being transferred to a nuthouse by now.

2005-02-08T14:43:00.000Z

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (10%) very low which suggests you are extremely worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness (56%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly organized, reliable, neat, and hard working at the expense of flexibility, efficiency, spontaneity, and fun.
Extraversion (17%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Dude, they've got me.

Accents, lack of.

2005-02-08T12:17:00.000Z

As I don't have anything recent to be anecdotal about, I decided to write about something that happened about 4 weeks ago.

I have no specific accent, I think this is what comes of coming from a posh area of the Midlands, then spending 5 years living in South East London and Kent, via Cornwall and Coventry, now being in Somerset. One of my friends dubbed it "Poshney"*, and it makes me stick out everywhere.

A disadvantage of having such an obscure way of talking is that I don't seem to fit anywhere, and I tend to pick up accents very quickly, and tend to make an arse of myself. I've noticed it ever since I was 6 or so when my friend asked why I talked so oddly.

Anyway, about 4 weeks ago I was in Taunton, freezing my arse off at the bus stop, waiting for the bus that only comes once an hour, when two Burberry clad Chavs came over. They sounded home countyish, and were putting on fake London accents. My problem is, whenever I come across anyone working class, my accent subconsciously switches into Chav Cockney mode, and whenever I come across anyone posh, I'm one of the aristocrasy.

Chav 1: Oi! Gorrer ciggie?
Me: Nah mate, dun smoke.
Chav 1: Gorrer light then?
At this point I'm thinking: "If i don't smoke, why the fuck would I have a lighter?"
Me: Nah mate, sorry.
Chav 1: Will yer go art wi' me mate? 'E fancies yer.
Me: Nah.
Chavs 1 + 2 snicker like Beavis and Butthead.
Chav 1: Oh pleaz, 'e's desprut like, innit. Why won'cha go art wi'im?
Me: (God knows why I said this...) Cos 'e aint me type, and 'e's butters.
Chav 1 cracks up laughing, Chav 2 looks embarrassed.
Chav 2: Am I mingin'?
Me: If yer say so mate.
Chav 1: Yer sure yer aint got no ciggies?
Me: Fu'off.

Bus comes along, bus driver asks in well spoken manner: Where are you going?
Me: Minehead please, sir, thank you.

I really need to stop doing that.

* Posh Cockney - She's very bright, honest.

How the rude words changed modern breadmaking techniques.

2005-02-07T20:51:00.000Z

Once upon a time, people used to make bread differently. The PC brigade have slowly been changing the names for certain techniques in an attempt to make the world more child friendly*.

For example, there's a certain type of wheat, cultivated only by deaf squirrel owning Monks in Siberia** called the Fucker wheat. Fucker wheat is almost exactly the same as ordinary wheat, except more spiritual and peaceful with the world at large, because the Monks play music to it as it grows. About 400 years ago, the PC brigade*** decided it had had enough with people eating Fucker loaves and Fucker sandwiches, and decided to genetically modify their own brand of wheat, which is the sort used today. So Fucker bread eventually evolved into white bread.

In the early 13th century, people used to call kneading the dough, "cunting" it. Cunting the dough was a very popular practise, and let the bread aerate, and therefore rise. But the PC Brigade pulled a stopper on that too.

I suppose this means bread making is safer for children, though, there's always the chance of them falling in the oven/bread machine/food processor while they cook****, or eating unripe bread dough, which, as we all know is deadly poisonous.

* Or boring, it depends who you talk to.
** They use greenhouses.
*** Then called ye Brigade PeeCee
**** Not to be recommended.

This blog post fulfils the assignment how the rude words changed modern breadmaking techniques at lazyblog.org. You can rate it here.

Subatomic particles on other planets

2005-02-07T15:15:00.000Z

Aliens are not very well known about, mainly because of the fact that not very many have stuck around long enough for any scientists to question them. If a scientist did manage to capture one though, and put it in a bedsit for a while, he would quickly have discovered that aliens should be left well alone.

See, aliens, be they martians, venusians, or sea monkies, are not the most hygenic of creatures. Fascinatingly funny looking maybe, they might also have great conversational skills, and be able to cook up a great chicken biriyani using nothing but leftovers and Lion eggs, but they hate cleaning. Especially cleaning their fridges incidentally. When they open their fridge-freezers on planets with different environments than Earth, a special sort of suction happens, which drags all the dust from nearby into the icebox. It's natural pnenomena. This then freezes solid, and expands as it does. With particularly unclean aliens, this can expand in volume so dramatically that the icebox can explode, littering the planet with subatomic particles, made from teeny tiny pieces of atoms and other such scientific things, which explode as they break free from their cold area.

And this also explains why no scientist can find aliens on Mars - Martians are particularly unclean and were buried alive by subatomic particles.

This blog post fulfils the assignment subatomic particles on other planets at lazyblog.org. You can rate it here.

First blog -Claps-

2005-02-06T03:37:00.000Z

Right, this is my first blog. I got pissed off with sitting around in hospital doing nothing, so decided to create this heap of poo.

All that's running through my mind is sheer disappointment at not having seen my ponies for ages, not being able to play polo tomorrow, not being able to play in the match next Saturday, and not seeing Jenny for fuck knows how long.